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In honor of August coming and going without a first day of school, I felt it was necessary to talk about what happens when syllabus days are replaced with conference calls and textbook shopping is replaced with suit shopping. Ok so technically I don’t wear suits to work but I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who are now buying suits instead of large, overpriced books that will eventually be sold back for $2.37 on some West Campus corner. The point is, when days are filled with work instead of school, every facet of your life is different.
So what happens to relationships built on tailgates and Jell-O shots? Well if it’s a good one, something quite magical happens. We’ll get to that part later. The first thing about post-grad relationships is that regardless of what you’re doing after you walk across that stage with your IOU diploma (a joke for those that have graduated), the relationship is going to change.
“If you want to keep your relationship alive, you have to grow together and that requires staying connected on each and every level.”
It’s impossible to keep a relationship exactly the same when your day-to-day routine makes a 180 from college life. No matter what kind of job you have, stepping into this new environment old people and pissed off parents like to call the “real world” is really freaking exhausting. You’ll spend a lot of your time being really really tired. Not the hungover on a Wednesday from a dollar beer night kind of tired, but a bill paying, all day meetings, grown up kind of tired.
Splitting your time between working and being really really tired leaves little room to completely focus on your relationship. Even if the priorities are there for both people in the relationship, the physical time to do so usually is not. It takes a lot more effort to make a relationship work when you’re not on the exact same class, party, class, football, party, schedule. You have to make sure you take the time and effort to plan some one-on-one time and spend that time doing things that get your mind off of work.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk to each other, in detail, about your jobs. It’s important to stay in sync with each other’s lives. Even if it may seem unnecessary to relay every part of your work week, it’s crucial to share that part of your new life with your partner. Without the constant updates about your professional life, it’s easy to feel disconnected from your personal life. If you want to keep your relationship alive, you have to grow together and that requires staying connected on each and every level.
Ok so enough about work of any sort. What about that “something magical happens” cheesy thing I mentioned earlier? Well here it is; a happy, healthy, loving relationship in the “real world’ simply makes everything better. It provides a partner to figure out things like insurance and taxes with. A couch companion during those exhausting evenings after work. And a romantic escape during the life saving weekends. It’s really nice to be a part of a team when it’s time to finally face the big bad world.
If you don’t feel like your relationship can make it past college, then let it go. Wherever life leads you after graduation shouldn’t be dragged down by a stressful or unhealthy relationship. The stakes are higher now. A bad relationship doesn’t just interfere with elective classes or going downtown on a weeknight, it can negatively affect your job and major life decisions. But for all those good relationships out there, hold on to them. Post-grad life is full of trying new things and taking on new responsibilities. What better way to embark on that journey than with a great partner by your side?